Delusions of Identity
When you operate on a delusion you don't realize your way of thinking IS delusional. Delusions, by design, hide in your blindspots. It's easy for others to see your blindspots, but often we only miss them because they attach themselves to things we take for granted. Things that are so obvious we never question them, and because we never question them they remain obvious yet unseen.
So first you have to flip a switch inside yourself where self inquiry is possible. And the hard part of willfully considering that some things you think are truths about reality are actually delusional and irrational can begin. Because a lot of things you take for granted are disadvantageous delusions. I'd go so far as to say that what takes up a large percentage of volume within your daily thought experience are irrational and delusional thoughts, even if they operate as quiet arguments against the things you say you want to be.
So first you have to flip a switch inside yourself where self inquiry is possible. And the hard part of willfully considering that some things you think are truths about reality are actually delusional and irrational can begin. Because a lot of things you take for granted are disadvantageous delusions. I'd go so far as to say that what takes up a large percentage of volume within your daily thought experience are irrational and delusional thoughts, even if they operate as quiet arguments against the things you say you want to be.
How are these thought processes working for you?
The self talk, is it supporting you or is it being disagreeable to your overall goal? Do those disagreeable thoughts balance you out in some way and actually work to make someone like you? Or, do they work in opposition to your free-flowing likability? Does your overthinking and self talk cause you to speak differently, listen differently?
So I ask again, how are your delusional thought processes working for you?
Most of the time what you think of as internal dialogues that keep you safe are really just mechanisms of self sabotage and delay.Truth isn't a list of the facts about a situation, but instead more accurately "found" by telling yourself the truth about how you perceive a given situation.
The truth of your perception of where you currently are in life is not about the provable facts. It's solely about the stories you tell about yourself and what you're doing.
When you aren't aware that what you say in your head is a story and you mistake that story for a fact about you, not only do you live in a false reality, but this is how you fabricate your own blindspots. Often times your deeper blindspots are unspoken stories you don't even realize you tell because they are ideas that exist as fundamental parts of your perception.
So I ask again, how are your delusional thought processes working for you?
Most of the time what you think of as internal dialogues that keep you safe are really just mechanisms of self sabotage and delay.Truth isn't a list of the facts about a situation, but instead more accurately "found" by telling yourself the truth about how you perceive a given situation.
The truth of your perception of where you currently are in life is not about the provable facts. It's solely about the stories you tell about yourself and what you're doing.
When you aren't aware that what you say in your head is a story and you mistake that story for a fact about you, not only do you live in a false reality, but this is how you fabricate your own blindspots. Often times your deeper blindspots are unspoken stories you don't even realize you tell because they are ideas that exist as fundamental parts of your perception.
There are certain elements you identify with that you need to step out of.
Most of your delusions are just identities you've built throughout your life that you've allowed to grow stale. When I say "Identify with" I mean that you have taken an experience you've had and made it a universal truth. It gives you a basis for how to interact, what you see, how you think. It becomes a stencil or template that determines what data you filter out and what data you allow into your perception. The problem arises when you filter out data that would be otherwise highly beneficial to you.
Food
Some of us identify with a way of eating, we use dietary dogma as a trustworthy framework so that we can stop thinking about our food fears so much, and so we can avoid listening to the signals our body is giving us... we just want to "solve the problem of food and be done."
Society says certain things about food, your parents acted a certain way around food, your research has told you mixed information, and out of this cesspool of conflicting notions you built a set of rules to keep you safe and filter out potential threats to your paradigm. And throughout your life this identity has evolved... some components get added, some get taken away, new things to be afraid of arise, and old fears are assuaged.
The part doing the filtering is your identity.
And most of the time this identity is built on rules you made up that have only have a basis in your experience because you first adopted the belief in them being valid.
Someone told you that fluoride in water was clogging your pineal gland and was the cause of your spiritual psychosis. So you became afraid of water. This later became fears of bad bacteria, fear of toxins, and fears of types of food. This fear of food became your identity, built on beliefs in invisible enemies.
You also built a protective personality as being someone "in the know" around food, as only few know the dangers of all of these potential threats to our health. This identity of "being the healthy one" and "knowing the safe things to eat" bleeds into all areas of your life, changes what you're willing to eat, how your body uses energy, and causes you to filter your choices through the lens of this structure of beliefs.
And you've shifted this identity many times as you've learned about the next great cause of food born suffering. In this way you started with beliefs, those culminated into an identity, and you filtered out all evidence of your body's capacities to handle toxins, even generating the illnesses you were afraid of succumbing to.
Society says certain things about food, your parents acted a certain way around food, your research has told you mixed information, and out of this cesspool of conflicting notions you built a set of rules to keep you safe and filter out potential threats to your paradigm. And throughout your life this identity has evolved... some components get added, some get taken away, new things to be afraid of arise, and old fears are assuaged.
The part doing the filtering is your identity.
And most of the time this identity is built on rules you made up that have only have a basis in your experience because you first adopted the belief in them being valid.
Someone told you that fluoride in water was clogging your pineal gland and was the cause of your spiritual psychosis. So you became afraid of water. This later became fears of bad bacteria, fear of toxins, and fears of types of food. This fear of food became your identity, built on beliefs in invisible enemies.
You also built a protective personality as being someone "in the know" around food, as only few know the dangers of all of these potential threats to our health. This identity of "being the healthy one" and "knowing the safe things to eat" bleeds into all areas of your life, changes what you're willing to eat, how your body uses energy, and causes you to filter your choices through the lens of this structure of beliefs.
And you've shifted this identity many times as you've learned about the next great cause of food born suffering. In this way you started with beliefs, those culminated into an identity, and you filtered out all evidence of your body's capacities to handle toxins, even generating the illnesses you were afraid of succumbing to.
Emotions
Some of you identify with your emotions and their importance. You learned feeling is healing and spent a year of your life wasting tremendous energy feeling and going nowhere. But because you're identified with your feelings you assume there must be more to feel, more to heal, more to clear out. The truth is, your identity and belief in the importance of constant feeling is what causes your energy to anchor through your emotions and generate more of them.
Your belief generates emotional looping. The importance of emotion doesn't generate emotional looping. The emotions can be unimportant AND you can still loop in them believing they're important. This is an identity.
Parents
You may also identify as a certain type of parent, which gets in the way of you being an authentic parent. You may be so afraid of being a bad parent because part of you believes you might be, you hold an identity in NEEDING to be a perfect parent while also having an aspect of you energizing your imperfection and failures.
This leads to an environment in which you react poorly, get emotional, and ultimately teach the wrong lessons... all because of outdated identities you hold. You react and respond to life irrationally because you hold outdated filters about reality.
This leads to an environment in which you react poorly, get emotional, and ultimately teach the wrong lessons... all because of outdated identities you hold. You react and respond to life irrationally because you hold outdated filters about reality.
You are NOT your behavior. Your personality is not you.
You are cultivating your personality and your behavior. The exploration of behavior and personality are a part of the energetic framework that builds your greater personhood. It's important, it's something to be evaluated and assessed, but it isn't the only version of you. It's just something you've done or a way you've acted, it need not be etched in stone.
Rarely (arguably never) is it beneficial to have any aspect of personality etched in stone. When you feel you're not being your truest self, you ARE being your truest self, it can be no other way.
That lesser self is still you, and the sooner you can come to terms with the idea that you are more multifaceted as a personality, the sooner you can begin integrating the parts of you that you see as undesirable as well as the parts of you that you hide and protect yourself from.
Rarely (arguably never) is it beneficial to have any aspect of personality etched in stone. When you feel you're not being your truest self, you ARE being your truest self, it can be no other way.
That lesser self is still you, and the sooner you can come to terms with the idea that you are more multifaceted as a personality, the sooner you can begin integrating the parts of you that you see as undesirable as well as the parts of you that you hide and protect yourself from.
When you identify with your behavior you cannot correct it without feeling deflated because your Ego is too attached to it. Identifying with behavior is the lowest form of consciousness. You get fixated on "effects" and begin ignoring the causes when you identify with behavior. When you judge something about yourself or something you've done in the past, you hide it and mask it, and as a result you yourself can't honestly look at it.
Because you can't honestly look at it, you start projecting it outward and see it in the faces and behaviors of everyone else so you have an opportunity to see it.
If you are stuck on the "effects" you will never understand yourself, you'll never see the problems you were trying to solve that created those effects and responses.
You must learn to not identify with actions, behavior and personality, you must zoom out and see a larger context. You realize that these behaviors are something you did, not something you are. You realize these desires are just aspects of energy you're reading, not permanent fixtures of your person. They are what they are, what happened happened... can you simply look at it and say "I did that, it wasn't my preference, but it's part of my history now and I can learn from it."
Responsibility for your integrity, for your behavior, for your stories and perceptions requires that you give up the drugs of shame, self loathing, and guilt in order to be able to discern if your actions or thought patterns require correction and adjustment in a sober fashion.
Shame and guilt are self indulgent cop out soothing methods that preserve the Ego and keep it from breaking. When your ego dies or breaks, a new ego is always born out of the inner self. There must always be an aspect of your greater self that interacts with reality, but it's always better to incrementally empower and clarify your Ego by making it less rigid and more self reflective.
Because you can't honestly look at it, you start projecting it outward and see it in the faces and behaviors of everyone else so you have an opportunity to see it.
If you are stuck on the "effects" you will never understand yourself, you'll never see the problems you were trying to solve that created those effects and responses.
You must learn to not identify with actions, behavior and personality, you must zoom out and see a larger context. You realize that these behaviors are something you did, not something you are. You realize these desires are just aspects of energy you're reading, not permanent fixtures of your person. They are what they are, what happened happened... can you simply look at it and say "I did that, it wasn't my preference, but it's part of my history now and I can learn from it."
Responsibility for your integrity, for your behavior, for your stories and perceptions requires that you give up the drugs of shame, self loathing, and guilt in order to be able to discern if your actions or thought patterns require correction and adjustment in a sober fashion.
Shame and guilt are self indulgent cop out soothing methods that preserve the Ego and keep it from breaking. When your ego dies or breaks, a new ego is always born out of the inner self. There must always be an aspect of your greater self that interacts with reality, but it's always better to incrementally empower and clarify your Ego by making it less rigid and more self reflective.
Energetic Clean Up
Integrity and growth require energetic clean up. You must own your thoughts, actions, stories, and begin to dismantle your illusions.
Your illusions are NOT truths just because you have thought them for a long time.
You are more expansive and bigger than these patterns. Recognizing them is not enough.
Recognizing them, stepping outside of them and seeing them as just patterns, just thoughts, just behaviors... like colored energies among a see of colors you can choose from. Identifying with them is considering those colors as part of you like a tattoo when in reality they are just choices among several.
Recognizing them, stepping outside of them and seeing them as just patterns, just thoughts, just behaviors... like colored energies among a see of colors you can choose from. Identifying with them is considering those colors as part of you like a tattoo when in reality they are just choices among several.
Your job here is not just to ignore it, but to step outside of it and stop indulging in it. You still listen to it as though it might be true, but this is just an outdated identity. If you still wonder if "it might be true" you haven't reassessed your beliefs about it and rewritten them.
You keep looking for reframes, but with each reframe you continue to indulge in the same things repeatedly. A reframe will not cut it. You CAN see those things as disadvantageous and bad, you can stop indulging in shame around them, and you can simply change them without making them so important.
Now you recognize you have set up a very rigid control mechanism. Is it effective? Is it helping you live more freely? Or does it just cause you to energize emotional thought streams, endlessly jumping from one to the next?
So you must zoom out and step outside of these patterns. Let that part of you die. It will feel like it is dying, but it will lead to tremendous growth. You have to overcome yourself, you have to zoom out and think differently by choice.
Each element that comes up you must zoom out, piece by piece. You must recognize you used to try and save everyone from every potential threat, which was a mechanism to protect yourself so you wouldn't get blamed. This is not rational thinking. Realize this so you can change it.
This isn't about judgement, that does not matter nor does it help you. Instead... it is what it is. The goal is mental agility, not to move from one set of rules to the next. You don't need new rigid rules to follow, you need to dismantle the rigid rules you currently operate on and allow more rational and empowered rules to arise from your current identity.
This isn't about judgement, that does not matter nor does it help you. Instead... it is what it is. The goal is mental agility, not to move from one set of rules to the next. You don't need new rigid rules to follow, you need to dismantle the rigid rules you currently operate on and allow more rational and empowered rules to arise from your current identity.
Your accountability equation is off.
So many people try to analyze before they change, analyze before they take action. All this does is project their fears into the future, in front of them so it can act as a hindrance, preventing you from growing and changing. Then, afterwards you reframe what you experienced so you can feel better.
The problem with this is it keeps you emotionally indulgent, overthinking, and going nowhere... you loop endlessly. Instead, the reframe needs to come BEFORE you take action, and the analysis is how you reflect.
You CHOOSE who you are, how you will behave, how you will think about yourself, how you see yourself. You commit to the chosen identity and move forward. THEN after you have moved forward, you analyze the feedback your world gave you. That feedback tells you where your beliefs were not well refined.
You don't just adjust your perception of the outcome to feel better, but look at the outcome as a reflection of what you believe. This gives you clarity to adjust your templates and puts the fear at your back, motivating you forward.
Right now you spend all of your energy energizing emotional thinking. You must realize this so you can change it. It is not the only way. You analyze first. Second guess. Question your ideas. Overthink. All of these are ways you project yourself into a future that does not exist yet.
Choose a probable future you want, focus on that, subordinate irrational thought, then move forward trusting it. From this, you'll get feedback... was the desired outcome achieved? If not, make adjustments based on what came up. Stop analyzing before you start... this is egoic control and will only lead you to energizing the outcomes you don't want based on where your attention is residing.
NOTHING YOU CURRENTLY THINK NEEDS TO BE VALID
You choose what is valid. You choose what to focus on. Change it inch by inch, bit by bit. Don't ask me "but is this important." None of it is. There are other ways of thinking and other ways of being and other truths. If that method is not empowering you, practice something different anything else just leads to rigidity.
In regards to your fears... you must explore them.
Find out what you are actually afraid of.
It's not people misunderstanding you, it's not people abandoning you... it's what happens after that.
What happens if you are abandoned and alone? Will you be cast out onto the street, starve to death, and die? Is that actually true, or just an outdated belief you haven't examined? Is it that if one person abandons you it will cause a cascade will everyone will abandon you in all parts of your life forever? Is this even true? Is it true that it's your responsibility to keep everyone safe? Can you even do that? What if it turns out everything you were doing to keep them safe was wrong? If you get in trouble will you die? Have you even gotten in any REAL trouble, or has it all been psychological? Did it matter after 5 years?
It's not people misunderstanding you, it's not people abandoning you... it's what happens after that.
What happens if you are abandoned and alone? Will you be cast out onto the street, starve to death, and die? Is that actually true, or just an outdated belief you haven't examined? Is it that if one person abandons you it will cause a cascade will everyone will abandon you in all parts of your life forever? Is this even true? Is it true that it's your responsibility to keep everyone safe? Can you even do that? What if it turns out everything you were doing to keep them safe was wrong? If you get in trouble will you die? Have you even gotten in any REAL trouble, or has it all been psychological? Did it matter after 5 years?
You goal is to learn to regulate your stories better. It is good to recognize these stories, the next step is to see that they are JUST STORIES with no real validity. Then stop telling them.